...perhaps a magazine cover with his paramour? How about the August issue of Cosmo? Sorry Andrew, Caroline decided to go solo on this one.
cosmopolitanuk Instagram
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OMG OMG OMG - Villa Story, Casa Amor calling : ’alright mate do you want to say "oh my god" one more time?’
Love Island YouTube
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DON’T DISS DYER - ’Love Island bosses risk the fury of Danny Dyer over their "cruel" TV stunt which left his daughter Dani in tears’ (Daily Star)...
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...point taken, but Danny / Spidey can’t get to the villa to unleash his superpowers at the mo cos it’s raining
Danny Dyer Instagram
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‘IT’S PARADISE LUST’ - those of you who bunked off school won’t know that this is a clever reference by the Daily Star to ’Paradise Lost’, an epic poem by John Milton published in 1667. He foresaw events 350 years later. Don’t believe LoveIslander? Read on...
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...Paradise Lost is all about the Fall of Man, the temptation of Adam by the fallen angel Satan and expulsion from the Garden of Eden. Basically, it’s a metaphor for Love Island as Fall of Man = all the boys, Adam = Adam obvs, fallen angel Satan = Megan and Garden of Eden = Love Island!
Love Island YouTube
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PARADISE LUST / LOST - Daily Star round up : ’Wes bedded Laura..then brazenly "cracked on" with Megan Parts-Out Hands-On. Sorry, Barton-Hanson...
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...Livid Laura branded smirking Megan "a slag" and "a stupid bitch"...
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...But the biggest loser is Adam whose king stud reputation is in tatters...
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...His new flame Zara got the tin tack. Dippy hippy Eyal went too...
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...The women decided to give peevish Dr Alex another chance. God knows why. Alex is living proof that on this show nice guys finish last...
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...Nice girls don’t fare much better but Dani Dyer is a sweetheart. Let’s hope her relationship with Jack survives the producers’ cynical deployment of his ex-girlfriend Ellie’
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BIT ADDICT - ’I’m a bit addicted to Love Island. It’s just such good, easy telly’ (Zoe Ball, Daily Star)
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DOING BITS - ’having sexual relations with somebody up until the point of sexual intercourse’, hence the Do Bits Society
UD Doing Bits
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LI FANBOYS - Ed Sheeran + Robbie Williams msg ’We just watched the Belgium England game and now we are watching Love island. Life is about balance’
Ed Sheeran Instagram
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SUPERFAN - Paris Hilton tweet ’Jack and Dani are goals’. Paris means that their relationship is something to be aspired to - no, LoveIslander did not ’just look it up on Urban Dictionary’
UD goals
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VILLA BODY - Paris on a beach in training for Love Island villa : bikini - check, phone - check, body - check, hiimau msg ’Body is banging!!!’
Paris Hilton Instagram
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CW SAYS - ’Alex - a posh, ham-faced doctor - has an entitled shrill man-baby peevishnessthat not a single woman on the show fancies him and has basically scolded one woman for this, as if she has somehow abdicated her sexual duty...
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...Adam , meanwhile, is of such a cliched buff hotness that it’s oddly unpleasant to look at him - he looks as though he has weaponised every inch of his body to cause maximum emotional damage...
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...That smirk! If you see a man smirk like that leave immediately by the nearest exit - for you are dealing with a human trash-fire’ (Caitlin Moran, aka Celebrity Watch, aka CW in The Times). Bit harsh, CW?
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