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...Iain came up with the genius ’A & E’ couple name for Alex and Ellie (Alex is an Accident & Emergency doctor, geddit?)...
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...but A & E has gone tits up so its ’All over and End of’ now, added to which...
Love Island
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... Waura (Wes + Laura) is at war over semantic misunderstandings, a situation complicated by ’Laura and Megan in EXPLOSIVE row as fight for Wes begins’...
BrideSide YouTube
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...after Eyal ’Is There Something Deeper?’ Booker splits from Megan ’No, There’s Something Missing’ Barton Hanson...
Love Island YouTube
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...unlike A-Z (Adam said ’I’m bang into Zara’, so Adam into Zara, Adam to Zara, A to Z, A-Z...LoveIslander is available for VO and PA bookings at the usual fee) which is surprisingly strong given Adam’s MO
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RECOUPLING - three way recoupling involving Wes + Laura, Alex + Ellie and Eyal + Megan gives 6 possible couple names :
Wellie, Wegan, Alaura, Algan, Eyaura and Eyellie
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LADIES FIRST - more couple name permutations if girls go first...work ’em yourself, does Love Islander have to do everything?
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SAME SEX - even more possibilities with same-sex couple names : Walex , Weyal, Mellie, Maura etc, etc...is there anything in the LI contract about same-sex coupling?
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SUMMARY - Jani, Jogia, 2Sam, A-Z are sound but A & E and Eymeg are toast and Waura is on the rocks with Wes about to jump ship for Megan (from Eymeg) to become Wegan
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NEXT - Eyal so hacked off at Megan bolting that his reaction to announcement of ’Snog, Marry, Pie’ game is only FS instead of FFS but...
Snog, Marry, Pie YouTube
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...sensing a chance with Ellie (formerly A & E with Alex) he chats her up with the classic ’I think I’ve had bad luck in here’ line in the hope that playing the sympathy card will lead to an Eyellie situation but his bad luck is about to get even worse and ’in here’ is soon to be ’outta here’
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DIVIDE BY 3 - ’If You Don’t Know Me By Now’ Love island game included a sex scores section but nobody had told the girls about the golden ’rule of three’...correction, just in, they had divided by three, possibly more in some cases
Love Island YouTube
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NUMBERS GAME - Adam ’I’ve Had Em’ Collard came in at 200..ish
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BONKING BACKSTORIES - The Star is on the case : ’Were you one of Dr Alex’s 30 lovers? Contact us on news@dailystar.co.uk’...but is anyone going to own up? There would have to be a substantial incentive to grass oneself up…
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RULE OF THREE - LoveIslander refers you to the fountain of all knowledge that is Urban Dictionary : ’When asking someone about the number of sexual partners they’ve had MULTIPLY a woman’s answer by 3, ’cause ladies don’t wanna seem like the slut. When a man answers DIVIDE his number by 3 because he wants to seem like a player’
Urban Dictionary
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AND YOUR POINT IS? - Deborah Ross deconstructs Love Island in The Times : ’The show, in a nutshell : super-buff twentysomethings with ripped abs and augmented breasts and all the rest hang out on a sunny island where they have to hook up or go home, essentially’. What about the psycho-sexual meta-meanings, Debs? OMG! Have you heard the latest about Samira?
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FALLBACK - Dr Alex’s fallback scenario could be to re-kindle his non-relationship with Samira in a sort of ’coupling of convenience’ for both parties...hold up, Samira’s only gone and quit in order to follow her heart / Frankie. Alex assessing his remaining options
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SHE’S COMING HOME - ’The football isnt coming home but our girl is! Coming out to follow her heart and get her man!’ : missjay180992 msg ’Was frankie waiting ????’
Samira Mighty Instagram
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FRANKIE SAYS - ’Who’s heard the news!? I am so excited, just want to give her a huge hug’ and...
Frankie Foster Instagram
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...her lingerie. Let’s be clear, Frankie is not a cross dresser. Samira sneaked this into Frankie’s case so he’s ’even more excited to see her’
Frankie Foster Instagram
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ALEX IN LUCK - new girl Alexandra chose Alex for her first date and new Jack (that’s Laura’s Jack as opposed to Dani’s Jack who is old Jack) for her second. She seems to be under instructions from her mum to grab the doc. All went well as the similarly-named twosome bonded over their mutual love of petrol but LoveIslander reckons that was peak Alex / Alexandra. It’s back to unlucky-in-love for Alex now but not before...
Love Island YouTube
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...he gushes ’She’s like an Amazonian princess’ to Georgia who failed to grasp the Greek mythology reference, obvs. ’What’s a...?’ It’s posh for ’She gotta big butt’, Georgia
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THE PIEMAN - who said ’I can’t be pied again. I’ve been pied so many times’?
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STENDERS - new Jack is semi-pro footballer Jack Fowler. Is he related to the EastEnders Fowlers? That would be a coincidence because the other Jack (old Jack) is coupled up with Dani Dyer whose dad is Danny Dyer who is landlord of the Queen Vic in...EastEnders
Radio Times YouTube
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IRL - new Jack currently nursing an ankle injury and his Love Island form has dipped sharply in the last few days as he’s outplayed by both Laura and Idris so LoveIslander reckons he’s now a dead cert to be subbed off early doors...all together now ’He’s coming home, he’s coming, Fowler’s coming home’
Love Island YouTube
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PLANET CELEB - as a semi-pro footballerer + personal trainer the rest of the time, Jack has no shortage of celebrity connections : check ’em out...
007 HD YouTube
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SHOCK SPLIT - Love Island rocked by news of a shock split: Caroline Flack no longer with Andrew Brady despite getting puppy Ruby Coco Brady together. Whisper it but there are said to be ’trust issues’!
Andrew Brady Instagram
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...The Sun newspaper reckons ’Caroline Flack fans are desperate for her to find love with Dr Alex in the Love Island villa...Viewers quickly urged her to crack on with Dr Alex who has also been unlucky in love...One even suggested Caroline enters the villa herself as a contestant to win the show’ : nice idea but probably against the rules
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...Alex still available Caroline, but hurry cos the good doctor’s luck could be about to change with arrival of new girl...
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...after viewers voted off his non-romantic interest Grace Wardle, the hairdresser who gave him a freebie cut with the memorable line ’You save lives and I change lives’...
Radio Times YouTube
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