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...perhaps a magazine cover with his paramour? How about the August issue of Cosmo? Sorry Andrew, Caroline decided to go solo on this one.



cosmopolitanuk Instagram

 
OMG OMG OMG - Villa Story, Casa Amor calling : ’alright mate do you want to say "oh my god" one more time?’


 
Love Island YouTube

 
DON’T DISS DYER - ’Love Island bosses risk the fury of Danny Dyer over their "cruel" TV stunt which left his daughter Dani in tears’ (Daily Star)...
...point taken, but Danny / Spidey can’t get to the villa to unleash his superpowers at the mo cos it’s raining



Danny Dyer Instagram

 
‘IT’S PARADISE LUST’ - those of you who bunked off school won’t know that this is a clever reference by the Daily Star to ’Paradise Lost’, an epic poem by John Milton published in 1667. He foresaw events 350 years later. Don’t believe LoveIslander? Read on...
...Paradise Lost is all about the Fall of Man, the temptation of Adam by the fallen angel Satan and expulsion from the Garden of Eden. Basically, it’s a metaphor for Love Island as Fall of Man = all the boys, Adam = Adam obvs, fallen angel Satan = Megan and Garden of Eden = Love Island!


 
Love Island YouTube

 
PARADISE LUST / LOST - Daily Star round up : ’Wes bedded Laura..then brazenly "cracked on" with Megan Parts-Out Hands-On. Sorry, Barton-Hanson...
...Livid Laura branded smirking Megan "a slag" and "a stupid bitch"...
...But the biggest loser is Adam whose king stud reputation is in tatters...
...His new flame Zara got the tin tack. Dippy hippy Eyal went too...
...The women decided to give peevish Dr Alex another chance. God knows why. Alex is living proof that on this show nice guys finish last...
...Nice girls don’t fare much better but Dani Dyer is a sweetheart. Let’s hope her relationship with Jack survives the producers’ cynical deployment of his ex-girlfriend Ellie’
BIT ADDICT - ’I’m a bit addicted to Love Island. It’s just such good, easy telly’ (Zoe Ball, Daily Star)
DOING BITS - ’having sexual relations with somebody up until the point of sexual intercourse’, hence the Do Bits Society
UD Doing Bits

 
LI FANBOYS - Ed Sheeran + Robbie Williams msg ’We just watched the Belgium England game and now we are watching Love island. Life is about balance’



Ed Sheeran Instagram

 
SUPERFAN - Paris Hilton tweet ’Jack and Dani are goals’. Paris means that their relationship is something to be aspired to - no, LoveIslander did not ’just look it up on Urban Dictionary’
UD goals

 
VILLA BODY - Paris on a beach in training for Love Island villa : bikini - check, phone - check, body - check, hiimau msg ’Body is banging!!!’


 
Paris Hilton Instagram

 
CW SAYS - ’Alex - a posh, ham-faced doctor - has an entitled shrill man-baby peevishnessthat not a single woman on the show fancies him and has basically scolded one woman for this, as if she has somehow abdicated her sexual duty...
...Adam , meanwhile, is of such a cliched buff hotness that it’s oddly unpleasant to look at him - he looks as though he has weaponised every inch of his body to cause maximum emotional damage...
...That smirk! If you see a man smirk like that leave immediately by the nearest exit - for you are dealing with a human trash-fire’ (Caitlin Moran, aka Celebrity Watch, aka CW in The Times). Bit harsh, CW?
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